One
I would swallow my heart
today if I could-
be your best friend
and make you a strawberry cake
or a chess pie
sing
light your candles
watch you make a wish
(not about me of course)
and blow them out
your lips would be pursed
as you blew
I'd watch them
you'd have a piece of cake in one hand
a glass of whiskey in the other
the lines on your face
would get soft with a grin
and your shoulders would rise
and fall as you'd make
those noises you can't help making
when you laugh
spontaneous sounds
always a crescendo then a decrescendo
part of your symphony that has always
bewitched me
Two
today (on your birthday)
I almost ran off the road looking at
blackbirds flying in a V formation
we were in the blank space
you in the corner of the V
me at the opening
8 comments:
Now those are birthday poems. Fun/sexy/with a hint of something beneath the surface. Great stuff. (I really like the blackbird image.)
Great detail in the description of the laughter and the V as a symbol is excellent.
thanks guys...you are kind...more broken-heart poetry...now there's impetus for you...and yes, I couldn't get those birds out of my mind after I saw them
Oh, dangit...everybody beat me to my favorite part...ha! I love those blackbirds and the V formation. I also love the lines softening on his face, and all those other sadly sweet details. Beautiful work!
Excellent, Holly! Layered, the
reader is kept wondering "who".
Your details give the poem
a touchable quality. And the last
verse, open to many interpretations.
Thank you so much Julie, Cynthia.
You are always such great close readers!
Holy moly, that second poem is fantastic, one is lovely but two is something else, such strong, strong imagery. Sorry, I've got to stop saying holy moly, I sound like some sixties cartoon superhero. Don't know where I got it from either. Anyway, I love the second.
thanks so much Jo
Post a Comment