Monday, September 1, 2008

"door number three, open"

crisis center
a girl pukes after a meal
"bathroom number three, closed"

"door number two, open"
we rinse hands in dirty
water

I dream a green tornado tries to eat my
family

"door number five, closed"

same dream- I fall off a cliff over
and over, surprised at the huge hand
catching me

anti-tornado tablet
anti-falling pill

"door number four, open"

we paint water
colors on pads of thick paper,
can only watch PG movies (we laugh)

"door number eight, closed"
watch people go through dt's-
paranoia locked in a bathroom
with him (and those sounds)

pace the hallway, green
carpet, locked doors

"bathroom number six, open"
announced loudly
every time we leave a room,
enter one,
take a piss, a shower

meds twice daily

unfortunately, fluorescents just aren't the same kind of light

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice write this is a poem when you read it you see images and you wonder what you are going to find behind each door rather good or bad this is the way life is it is a door and each door has a path to go through. I also like this line-

unfortunately, fluorescents just aren't the same kind of light

holly said...

thanks Misty!

Anonymous said...

Another fantastic poem.....and the last line is wonderful. They aren't, are they?

Anonymous said...

I like this a lot. Wonderfully detailed.

Anonymous said...

My name is Robert Kegan and i would like to show you my personal experience with Xanax.

I am 19 years old. Have been on Xanax for 60 days now. I have periodic panic attacks, particularly at social gatherings, riding in cars, and walking into rooms full of people (i.e. late to class). I felt that the medicine worked, but I felt that it created urges to take more than directed when the rebound anxiety hit, so I switched from alprazolam to clonazepam (Klonopin). I think xanax is great for airplanes and adjunctive treatment with ssri's, but by itself I don't think xanax has much too offer except as a short term treatment for panic attacks, klonopin is less sedating and seems to prevent future anxious episodes without causing cravings, and tolerance seems to build up much slower than xanax does.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
I sometimes felt invisible, like nobody could notice anything I was doing. Occasionally it would make me fall asleep if I had to stay in one spot for too long. After a fairly short period of time I would feel moderate rebound anxiety.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Robert Kegan